However, much has happened since it went up, including the Blogger outage.
On Unpaid Emotional Labor July 15, 2: Sex work is not work. Emotional work is not work. No, because women are supposed to provide them uncompensated, out of the goodness of our hearts. We are told frequently that women are more intuitive, more empathetic, more innately willing and able to offer succor and advice.
How convenient that this cultural construct gives men an excuse to be emotionally lazy. How convenient that it casts feelings-based work as "an internal need, an aspiration, supposedly coming from the depths of our female character.
I try to spend my life enacting or at least preparing for war against every facet of patriarchy, but if there was one archetype in particular I could choose to destroy first, it would be the one that says sensitivity and nurturing and saintly levels of understanding and boundless, ceaseless patience aren't just women's work, but the fundamental tenets of womanhood itself.
It feels like I've swallowed poison every time someone says "feminine" when what they really mean is "acquiescent, submissive, and willing to put up with infinite shit in exchange for absolutely nothing at all.
The implication that this is patently unfair, as emotional work is something that only women perform, kind of confuses me. Isn't what the author considers "emotional work" simply the basis of every successful, supportive relationship, romantic or otherwise?
I mean I've ended up in relationships with women who lacked "sensitivity and nurturing", but that doesn't contradict the patterns of gendered behaviors and gendered behavior expectations. I would guess that even in educated, liberal communities where it's accepted that both parties to a relationship will put some work in, the baselines for the proper amount of effort are not exactly equal, and aren't seen with unfiltered eyes.
Yes, and it is routinely devolved to women to perform the bulk of.
I have had to ask several male friends, "What do you think friendship means? You cannot merely text me a picture of your dog after months and silence and then launch instantly into a tirade about how much you hate your job and you're so lonely etc.
I'm married to a pretty egalitarian man but even so I sometimes find myself saying, "Sweetheart, I cannot rehash this story about work again.
Please talk to a friend about this. I cannot listen any more. He also takes for granted that I'll arrange all social events involving other people, maintain familiar relations with our families and be open and supporting to him.
But he's not responsible for inviting his mom to Mother's day because that's my job. Our relationship is a work in progress but most of our conflict revolves around his assumptions that I like doing that stuff, that he could never be as good at it as I am and that I don't find it exhausting because Feminine.
Men would rather believe that there is something wrong with you than believe you do not desire them other than as friends. The rate is 60 cents an hour. Oh dear god, yes. Or, as a vaguely neuro-diverse woman, I would opt for the alternative approach: I know, I know, NotAllMen or whatever, but honestly?
Every dude I know has the opportunity, on any given day, to make at least one woman's life just a little more equitable, and I'm sick of cutting them slack for not taking that opportunity.
Her rationale was that either you're just punching down and you're an asshole, or you're legitimately outraged. But if you're a man and you're outraged, well, you're in the position to contribute to the greater equality that you supposedly value.
I expected outrage and backlash, but in matter of fact, our local abortion fund has profited mightily.
Describing emotional labor to the men I have dated is always exhausting. They do not fundamentally understand what the phrase even means. It is sitting down to lunch and having your friend tell you a long story about themselves, expecting you to interject with suggestions and kind words, for forty minutes before they even ask you how you are doing.
It is the expectation that if you want something nice - say, someone to plan a weekend away, or to have pretty flowers around that make you feel special, or for someone to think of you when they are at the grocery store and to pick up dinner for you as well - you should do it your damn self.
It's the expectation that you will walk away from an argument feeling low, after apologizing, without getting an apology in return, and that you'll be all smiles when they're ready to engage again after stonewalling you. He just looked at me and laughed; then, he said, "You're a crazy person; that doesn't make sense," and he walked away.
Emotional labor is bullshit when it isn't fairly compensated. I might suggest that someone else doing emotional labor for you in return is fair compensation.
Unfortunately, I personally have yet to find a partner who is capable of doing that kind of emotional work, and I know I am not alone in this. It's just not part of their upbringing, baby - they're men. They never learned how to do it, and everything has worked out just fine so far without it.
They sure as shit aren't going to start doing it now.As a recording and touring artist, James Taylor has touched people with his warm baritone voice and distinctive style of guitar-playing for more than 40 years, while setting a precedent to which countless young musicians have aspired.
A cult film or cult movie, also commonly referred to as a cult classic, is a film that has acquired a cult regardbouddhiste.com films are known for their dedicated, passionate fanbase, an elaborate subculture that engage in repeated viewings, quoting dialogue, and audience regardbouddhiste.comive definitions allow for major studio productions, especially box office bombs, while exclusive definitions.
Unlike the flakes of the anarchist subculture the people in Eviction Free San Francisco operate in the real world, and they have actually prevented a few evictions. But stopping a handful of evictions per year when more than a thousand people a year are being driven from their homes is a massive failure.
Latest breaking news, including politics, crime and celebrity. Find stories, updates and expert opinion. As a follow-up to Tuesday’s post about the majority-minority public schools in Oslo, the following brief account reports the latest statistics on the cultural enrichment of schools in Austria.
Vienna is the most fully enriched location, and seems to be in roughly the same situation as Oslo. Many thanks to Hermes for the translation from regardbouddhiste.com “San Francisco, the great and unexpected joy in my adult life is that I make music and I get to play it every night people with that I care about ” regardbouddhiste.com taking a moment to express gratitude to the sold out crowd at The Fillmore .